This topic comes up every spring. As the weather starts getting better, I am thinking about outside chores and spring cleaning. I look at my roof and know it needs to be swept off. I look at my trees and shrubs and consider which might need trimming. I look at my garden spot and imagine which vegetables I should plant. I look at the windows that need washing and the patio that needs power scrubbing. It doesn’t take long for my ambition to overwhelm my motivation and the reality that, no matter how much I want to do all of these chores, I probably shouldn’t.

So, my  plan is to make a list of what needs to be done and when. Then I can look at what I can manage that might actually fit into my schedule. Taking a second look would give me the opportunity to ask myself if I am the best person to be doing all of these things? Would that be the wisest option based on my current situation? Most importantly, can I do these chores safely? This would allow me to step back and consider which ones might be better handled in other hands or, at the very least, with help. My list becomes two lists, one for me to do and one for me to farm out.

As my husband’s symptoms progress, I find myself taking on more chores that he once handled. I am also still carrying everything I did before. It is not realistic for me to expect that I can do the work of two people around the house while also providing good care for him. I have to accept that there are limits to my capacity and ask for help. I may find the need to add a third list, those things that really don’t matter and find a way to let them go. Then I’ll be ready to face spring with a renewed concept of where to start and how I will manage it, always knowing that there is room on the other lists if things change or I have taken on too much. Safety, time and personal happiness will drive my decisions as I tackle what I have mindfully chosen to do, and look for others to take care of the rest.