I was reminded of this at a recent Parkinson’s Disease CarePartner gathering. A fellow Partner had injured her back trying to help her husband get up from a fall. She told us she finally had to go get the neighbor to help, but was that her best choice? I know how it happens. When my husband falls, my first instinct is to rush in and help him get up. I have been through training that tells me to do just the opposite, but my brain still wants to react in the moment. I forget that I can’t physically lift 200 pounds, nor should I assume someone else can safely do it.

The best response to a fall is to let my husband do his own self-check to determine whether he has done any damage and then he can let me know what needs to happen next. It is important that he has the opportunity to get himself up if possible. He will ask for my assistance if he wants it, perhaps he needs a chair moved closer to give him some leverage. My job is to be ready to call 911 if he can’t get himself off the floor. He needs a professional who can provide help without causing more damage and someone who can evaluate whether he needs additional treatment. My husband may not think it is necessary, but I have the right to override him when it comes to safety issues.

Getting back to my original statement, I can ask my neighbors to help me with yard work or moving furniture. I have asked for help doing minor home repairs. I can ask them to check in on my husband if I have to go out unexpectedly, but I shouldn’t be asking them for anything that involves physical contact. Think about it, what happens when they attempt to help with something and instead hurt themselves or my husband? That leaves me with even more of a disaster to deal with. I want the best care for my husband, especially in emergency situations, and that means trained EMTs. I may ask the neighbors to keep an eye out for the ambulance, but I’ll leave the actual care to those who have the appropriate training.