It is essential that my husband be encouraged to do everything he can for himself at every stage of his illness. It is also important for me to find ways to get certain things done. I have to admit that sometimes I just go ahead and take on a task because it is easier for me than it is for him. But, am I really being the best CarePartner I can be when I do things out of expediency rather than considering what is truly the right choice for both of us? I don’t want to limit his control over life, nor do I want to add to my burden by taking on additional chores if I can modify the task so he can still do it for himself.

This came up recently because he has been fighting with lower back pain. It has become increasingly difficult for him to stand any length of time. He used to stand at the bathroom sink on Saturday mornings and sort his medications for the week ahead. A couple of weeks back he told me that he needed me to take that over because it was too painful. I did it for him last week, but the whole time I was thinking that there has to be a better solution.

And it was so simple! I found a small box, put all his prescription bottles along with his weekly containers in it, and presented them to him at lunch on Saturday. He was seated comfortably at the breakfast bar and it took less than 5 minutes for him to sort them out. This also helps us both be more aware when it’s time to reorder meds. My part became simply carrying them back and forth from the bathroom. It’s a workaround that enables him to continue doing this task rather than pass it over to me. As they used to say, it’s a win-win for both of us.