My husband is working with a new Physical Therapist and she is wonderful. We arrived a bit early for his appointment the other day and he was sitting in a chair waiting. When she called him back, I started to help him out of the chair when she turned to me and said “no, let him do it.” Sure enough, he was able to scoot forward and lift himself right up. It made me start thinking, how much of what I do is necessary and how much is because we are stuck in certain patterns in our roles?

We got to practice a bit more of this that same day because I had to take our car in for maintenance and was stuck at the dealership for about two hours. Normally, I would have tried to get a shuttle home or schedule for a day when we had our caregiver. Neither of those things worked for this appointment, so my husband was at home alone and he did fine. It was the longest period he had been by himself in the house for a while and he seemed to enjoy the peace and quiet. I know I miss having the house to myself, why wouldn’t he?

Having a new professional working with us has brought a different perspective into our lives. Her focus is not on what I can do to make life easier, it’s on what he can still do for himself. It has been like a much needed kick in the seat of my pants. In my attempt to be a “good” CarePartner, I have forgotten the most basic rule of never underestimate his capabilities. I’m a hoverer so it will be difficult to step back and let him be, but I am going to try. I think it will be good for both of us.