I see my husband struggling to do something and I immediately think there has to be a better way. My brain starts working to find a modification before I even realize that he has already moved on from the task. He figured it out on his own without my intervention so I should let it be, but often I can’t. Once my “fixer” mentality sets in, I am focused on a mission. When I find what I consider to be the perfect resolution, I get frustrated when my husband doesn’t seem excited about it and often won’t use it. What’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he appreciate my help with this?

There is something wrong, but it’s not with him. The problem is, even though I am trying to be the best CarePartner ever, sometimes I am disrespecting his ability to find his own answers. I jump in to fix issues that aren’t problems for him. I let my own perception of the situation take control and then wonder why he doesn’t want to accept my solution. Once again, I’m fixing things that aren’t broke.

In those moments when I feel start to feel unheard and unappreciated, it’s time to step back and really look at what I am doing. Am I not being heard or am I not listening to him? Has my husband asked for help with this particular problem or am I assuming he needs my help? Is this really a challenge he wants me to fix or can he manage without my intervention? Who’s cares more about fixing this issue, my husband or me? Finally, is this really a good use of my time and energy or should I just step out of his way and let him be? I know the correct answers to all of those questions, I just need to resign myself to them.