I always try to do what’s best for my husband and yet still I often feel like it just isn’t enough. That’s when I let guilt begin to play in my  head. I feel guilty that I got grumpy with him yesterday, I feel guilty when I can’t understand what he is trying to say to me, I feel guilty that I didn’t stop him from falling last week. I think the reality beneath it all is I feel guilty that he has this disease and I don’t. Then I stop, take a breath, and remind myself that I am always acting with best intentions. It is going to look different based on the day and how we both are feeling, but I can’t do any more than that and shouldn’t feel guilty about any of it.

I know my husband sees me trying to be a good CarePartner and understands that sometimes I am just not able to do the right things at the right time. He knows my heart is in the right place and accepts any missteps as learning opportunities without placing fault or blame. He is patient, loving, kind, and lets it go, setting a great example for me.

Self-compassion is one of the most valuable tools in my toolkit. I am good at not blaming my husband for the challenges he faces but it is more difficult for me to accept my own challenges. I have never been in this role of primary CarePartner before, yet I expect to have all the answers and to do everything well. I can’t. I am only human and will make mistakes along the way. As long as I learn from them and keep on trying, then it’s a valuable experience for both of us.