We used to have big family gatherings for the holidays. My sister and I traded hosting the events which usually brought anywhere from 12 to 20 people together. It was fun but also a lot of work. Shopping, cleaning, cooking, made it a very busy time for me and my husband. Added to our already packed schedule were parties at friends’ houses, almost always in the evenings. As his Parkinson’s symptoms progressed, recovering from the parties took as long as preparing for them. I realized that maybe celebrating this much wasn’t the best way.

It was time to step back and look at what worked and what didn’t. I still wanted to get together with family in some capacity but the evening events with our friends had to go. I reached out to them and suggested that we might find other ways to get together, perhaps in smaller groups for lunch at a restaurant, and that works somewhat. As for family events, we have pared down to a simpler process and it has become more of a potluck buffet rather than a sit down dinner. This Thanksgiving I only invited our immediate family, just 7 of us in total, and it was great.

I decorate our house more simply and carefully choose things that I think have more meaning. I try to make some of our favorite foods even if it is for a smaller audience. I want family and friends to know that we are still here and love them all. We need those connections as we travel on this journey and it matters that they understand how things are changing for us since we may need more support in the future. I have figured out that bigger isn’t always better and that sometimes celebrating with just the two of us can be the best party of all.