My last message was about a difficult situation I thought I was facing regarding the purchase of a new car. As it turned out, I was the only one making it difficult. I had decided that my husband would want to be involved in the entire process before asking him. I was also convinced that it would be exhausting for both of us and was, perhaps, beyond my capacity to manage. I was so wrong.

When I finally had the nerve to open the conversation, my husband was quick to suggest that I do all of the legwork ahead of time. He didn’t want to visit lots to look at cars, especially since he wouldn’t be the one driving them. If only I had talked to him sooner, I would have saved myself more than one sleepless night and lots of worry. We discussed what we both felt was needed in a new car and I was on my way.

What I hope to remember for next time is that we are going to have to talk sooner or later and the longer I put it off the more difficult I make things. Opening the door to an honest conversation is so much easier when I don’t let anticipation anxiety get in the way or make assumptions on how he’ll react. Starting the discussion in a positive manner promotes a good outcome, lightens my load, and allows us to work more effectively as a team. Isn’t that one of the basics of being a good CarePartner anyway?