The holidays are over and it’s time to reflect on what went well and what didn’t. Things this year didn’t look like they used to. I could blame this on my husband’s diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease but that would be a lie. Yes, his symptoms have impacted some of our celebrations, but much of what we do is based on life changes that have little to do with his PD. Family dynamics have changed, we’re both older and not able to do as much, the things we once did aren’t relevant or fun anymore.

Parkinson’s is an easy scapegoat when the actual change agent is reality. So many things we used to do were time consuming and hard work. As I get older, I realize that I would rather spend that time on things I enjoy and find relaxing. Putting lights on the house is a great example. It is a two person job that was usually under my husband’s direction. I’ve been trying to keep it up by myself for a few years but realized that it just may not be worth the effort. To be totally honest, the stress of doing some of these past tasks outweighs perceived benefits and no one notices the change except for me.

The older I get, the less I enjoy big, noisy parties. There is also the reality that we are not always going to be here and our children are going to have to figure out their own ways to celebrate. I think it’s okay for that to start now. Smaller groups in quiet daytime gatherings with less trappings are our new reality and I find that it works better for my sanity. I like having a chance to visit with family rather than spending days cleaning and cooking for them and then a day cleaning up after. It seems our holidays have evolved into a more personal way to connect and isn’t that the most important consideration anyway?