It doesn’t have to be anything serious; I had a head cold last month and since I am my husband’s primary caregiver, he caught it from me. The cough and congestion were minor for me but it could very well have led to pneumonia for him. Would it have helped for me to try to isolate myself from him when we live together in a 1600 sq ft house? That’s doubtful because by the time I realized I was sick he’d already been exposed. I suppose he could have gone into respite, but what else might he have been exposed to in that setting? It’s a complicated situation with no really clear or good answers.

This topic often comes up when I meet with fellow CarePartners. It is not unusual for our loved ones to end up hospitalized when we have an emergency ourselves. I could call our children, but would they be able to provide the care he needs 24 hours a day for an indeterminate amount of time? Respite care might be available if local facilities have bedspace but someone would need to make those calls and arrangements. What is the best way to be prepared when I don’t know what I am preparing for?

One solution for us might be to call the agency that currently provides our in-home care. We have a care manager who should be able to help us figure out what to do. I have a friend who works in placement and she would definitely be a good resource. I know some members of our PD network have made contact with facilities or have already used respite just to find out how it works.

Our first step is going to be to sit down and discuss this challenge openly. Together we can create a plan of action listing contact names and phone numbers. Then I will give a copy of our plan to each of our children with the hope that they never have to use it.