There are always going to be times on this journey when my husband needs more care. It may be because of a fall, a viral infection, just about anything can create additional challenges for him which, of course, means additional challenges for me. The more I find myself doing for my husband, the less I am able to do for us and doing anything strictly for myself can easily go right out the window. That is when it becomes essential for me to step back and make some adjustments to our routines to ensure that everyone’s needs are met.

Thankfully, my husband understands the value of having a well rested partner because he has seen me when I am not. He knows that without my daily mini breaks, my twice weekly helpers, my yoga and my walks, I am simply not able to be as patient or kind as I need want to be. I understand that he cannot stop bad things that happen and doesn’t control the level of care necessary to sustain him at times. The fact that we both understand these things doesn’t change the fact that sometimes I am just going to have to change my routine so I can provide the care he needs in the moment.

My husband’s journey has setbacks and we have to figure out how to weather them together. I remind myself that the obstacles PD brings are temporary and that we will get back on track soon. I am honest about what I can do and what I need to do and work to balance the scales. And, I look for easy ways to make it through. If I am too busy or too tired to cook, we’ll have leftovers from the freezer and it’s okay. If he is taking a nap, so am I, the housework can wait. If there are tasks I can pass off to our caregivers, then I do it because they are here to help me as much as my husband. I adjust and accept different expectations of myself since sometimes that is the best way for us to make it through. And it is all okay.