My husband had a minor procedure done this week, a skin tag removed from a delicate area on his body, and it took about 10 minutes in the doctor’s office. After the doctor was done, the Medical Assistant handed me a packet of gauze, a plastic bottle and the assurances that aftercare was simple. Just rinse the area with warm water often, pack the wound and it should heal in about 2 weeks. I expressed my concerns that this is not an easy area to keep clean but she assured me that I would be able to do it as she packed the supplies in a paper bag and opened the door to send us on our way. Yes we will manage it, but what I quickly learned is that no, it is not easy.

This is not the first time this has happened. I understand that the hospital is not the best place for my husband to recover and that I, as his CarePartner, have become an alternative to a visiting nurse. Two minutes of instruction in the doctor’s office is supposed to provide me with all the training I need to provide care that even our paid caregivers aren’t qualified to do. It adds tasks to my already full days and stressors that keep me awake at night. Last night I was tossing and turning most of the night worried that I wasn’t doing things well enough and wondering what to do if he developed an infection.

This practice angers me and frustrates me because it makes me feel inadequate. I am learning to push back. I let the doctor and their staff know my concerns regarding aftercare. I ask for any supplies they can share, in the above case I got enough gauze to last the first day and a bottle that comes in really handy for rinsing the area. I would have asked for a set of gloves but already have them at home. I tell them I am worried so they won’t be surprised when I call back with more questions as his recovery proceeds. This is just another job that I get to do without training thanks to my husband’s diagnosis.