During a recent support group meeting a CarePartner expressed their concern about not being able to continue providing care for their loved one. This is such a tough topic. We all want to think that we can offer the care our loved ones need and keep them at home where they are most comfortable. It is definitely a worthy goal and one that I share. The reality of Parkinson’s Disease and aging, however, may mean that we reach a day when I am not able to provide the best care for my husband. There may very well come a time when I have to admit that our home, even with in-home caregivers, is not the best placement for him. We both have to be open to that possibility.

One of the benefits of being in a support group is that I have friends who are at all stages of this journey. I have been able to watch as other couples had to deal with this difficult choice. I have seen some Partners keep their loved ones at home for the duration and, with a lot of support they were able to make that work. I have also seen other situations where the Person with Parkinson’s moved into a facility where their particular needs could be better met. The couples were still able to stay connected through regular visits and the CarePartner was able to take better care of themselves too.

Just as this journey is different for everyone and totally unpredictable, I need to be careful making promises to my husband about what our future will look like. My husband knows that my father had Parkinson’s Disease and spent the final months of his life in a facility because my mother was killing herself trying to care for him. Dad was lost in his dementia, but in those few moments of clarity he understood she had done her best. My husband understands and accepts that I will always do my best for him which may mean handing his care over to professionals in a facility someday. We accept that at some point the choice could become not what he wants, or what I want, but how we can find the best level of care for both of us.