I spend a lot of time doing things for my husband that he used to do for himself. It has become the natural state of things. What I forget sometimes is that this disease has ups and downs, good days and bad. He may not always need my help. Am I sometimes guilty of doing too much? Probably, it’s tough to know just how much help is too much. I try to step back and encourage him to try things before taking over. Sometimes I delay a bit before coming to assist. I have found that occasionally it works and I think his capabilities surprise both of us. But it is not always that way.

There are times when I feel I am too bossy as I push him to do more. It even seems like maybe I’m being mean or neglectful. I lose sight of the concept that something he couldn’t do yesterday, may be possible today. Or vice versa. Parkinson’s is unpredictable and his symptoms can vary by the day, even by the hour depending on how meds are working or where his dopamine levels are. I need to encourage him to do as much as possible in every situation but be ready to step in when things just aren’t working out.

“Are you okay?”, “Do you need help with that?”, “How’s it going?” and similar comments come out of my mouth what seems like a hundred times a day. I’m sure he gets tired of hearing them just as I get tired of saying them. But, I can’t know where his limits are unless I ask and those limits often change. So I keep on asking, even though it may seem like nagging at times, because that is the best way I know to encourage and support him. And I hope he understands why.