We went out to dinner at a new brewpub last night. I had been there once before, but my husband hadn’t experienced it yet. I was looking forward to sharing something new and thought it would go well. Unfortunately, his PD reality and my expectations didn’t quite come together and it was much more challenging than I was prepared for. The dining area was busy and we wound up seated at the bar on high stools that were difficult to navigate. We ordered paninis which were tasty but very messy and we both needed forks to eat them. All in all, it was much more stressful than it needed to be. I found myself apologizing to my husband on the way out the door and know that we won’t be trying this place again.

I am not always going to be able to fully understand his challenges in any setting. I did what I thought was due diligence by visiting the brewpub ahead of time. When I went there with a friend I noted that the location was good, the seating was comfortable and appeared to be accommodating. It might have been okay if we had gone in the afternoon rather than at dinner time, I’m not sure. It also might work for someone else, just not for my husband. I can still go there with friends if I want and when I go out with my husband we will make a different choice.

It’s important for me to remember that I am not able to predict what will happen in every situation we encounter. I won’t always know whether a particular setting will be a challenge or not, I can only check it out and then hope for the best. It’s not my fault if it doesn’t work out the way I expected, it just may not be a good fit for us. Blaming myself for making a bad choice doesn’t make things any better.