There are times when my husband’s schedule and mine simply clash. Life as a CarePartner is busy and there never seems to be enough hours in the day. Meeting both of our needs often means compromise for one or the other of us, it seems that it is usually me. My husband might have a different take on that though. Making sure we both get what we need, as opposed to what we may want, also means prioritizing and making choices. I may not always make the right ones but I don’t make them lightly.

I made the choice to not attend a physical therapy appointment with him the other day and have been regretting it ever since. He was meeting with a new therapist and undergoing testing. It might have been useful for me to be there, but I wasn’t. I had good reasons not to go, phone calls I really needed to make, yet I feel like I have let him down. I will be present for his next appointment with this therapist and that is going to have to be enough.

It’s important for me to recognize needs versus wants when deciding who or what comes first. We differ in food preferences, that is a want, but making sure our meal schedule fits his medication schedule, that’s a need. Exercise time for me is a want, for him it’s a need. That sometimes applies to nap time too. Choosing to miss his appointment the other day may not have met his needs in the moment, but it was the right choice for me and sometimes that is all I can do.