My husband just started a new round of Physical Therapy with a new therapist. This is the fourth time he has sought treatment from a PT for lower back pain in the past few years. The first time I was all in, willing to help him figure it out. The second time, a year or so later, I was a bit hesitant, not sure whether it would be beneficial. The third time, I told him that he was on his own. I drove him to the appointments but that was my total involvement. He is back at it for a fourth time now and, for some reason, it makes me angry so I really have to step back from the process. I don’t understand where the anger comes from, I just know that even being in the room when he is doing his homework is difficult for me and he doesn’t need to see that.

Perhaps my frustration comes from knowing we have done all of this before with little or no success. He seemed to be making progress with his last therapist. Then he saw another therapist at her office who told him that he didn’t need to do all of the exercises if it was too much and things fell apart. I understand that it is hard work for him. I also understand that he is doing a lot of other stuff, but these exercises are supposed to be specific to the area of concern and they need to be a priority if they are going to make a difference.

I really want to be supportive of my husband in his journey but don’t seem to be able to set aside my feelings on this. I am letting him take this on for himself and wherever it goes, that will be fine. It would be nice to think he will get some relief from the therapy, but I have doubts based on his history with PT. So, I will step back and leave it alone to keep peace in our home and to protect my mental health. Maybe this will be the magic time that it actually helps.