health

Knowing when and how to treat your loved one with Parkinson’s for a non-Parkinson’s condition can be tricky.

We have been dealing with chest colds at our house That means congestion, coughing, and feeling pretty lousy over-all. Neither of us developed a fever so it doesn’t appear to be anything more serious. We tested for covid early in the process and those were negative. To care for ourselves, we’ve been resting and hydrating. I researched Parkinson’s websites to find safe over the counter solutions for chest colds and found guaifenesin for congestion. We are both drinking lots of hot tea and using acetaminophen for body aches. It’s taking a while but we do seem to be showing signs of recovery.

Should we have gone to the ER or Urgent Care? That’s a difficult and personal decision. I know from past experiences, trips to the ER can be more damaging than helpful. And, I anticipate that the only advice they would give us after waiting hours in an unhealthy environment would be “go home, rest and hydrate”. Exactly what we are already doing. They could possibly provide us with a more definitive diagnosis, but does it really matter if it’s a chest cold or bronchitis? Both are treated in the same manner. Heaven forbid they would want to keep either of us in the hospital, I have seen too many of our friends go in with congestion and not come home.

My gauge on whether to seek further treatment is based on something I learned as a young mother. When I see lots of blood, broken bones, fevers, difficulty breathing or unconscious, we head straight to the ER. Falls that we can’t get up from, I call 911 for assistance. Otherwise, I do my best to provide home care and PD safe OTC remedies. Chicken soup and love are still the best cold treatments I have ever found.

Click “What Cold Medicine can I take with Parkinson’s” to see the article I found that talked about safe cold meds for people with PD.

Constant stress is a component of the journey. Be mindful of the tools you use for relief.

I have mentioned this statistic before, more than 60% of spouses caring for their partner with a chronic illness die earlier than their non-caregiving peers. The constant stress we face is a huge contributor to our higher mortality rate. I am on duty with my husband 24 hours a day and, other than the hours when we are both sleeping, I am checking to make sure he is okay. I even sometimes wake in the middle of the night and listen for his breathing. This continual state of alert takes a toll on my health.

My stress reduction plan includes exercise, deep breathing, taking breaks to read a good book and journaling. Weekly yoga classes provide an opportunity for meditation, neighborhood walks are great for clearing my head. Reading alongside my husband allows for a mental escape and gives us something to talk about. In those moments when I feel like I’m about to explode, nothing calms me faster than to step back and take a couple of deep breaths.

I often joke with fellow CarePartners about the value of a good glass of wine on a long and difficult day. Or even on a normal day, come to think of it. Those single glasses of wine are acceptable as long as they are only one piece of my stress relief program. Chocolate and other sweets are also options for dealing with the daily pressures. Again, not a problem when eaten in moderation. I just need to remember that sticking with my healthier choices like exercise and journaling keeps me present in the moment, which is always better for my husband and for me.

For more on the stress we all face as CarePartners, visit “Caregiver Health” on the Family Caregiver Alliance website. To learn more alleviating some of that, visit “Caregiver Self-Care: Caring for You” on that same website.

Research into Parkinson’s continues but don’t wait for a cure. Encourage your loved one to do everything they can now.

I get often get information on new research breakthroughs for Parkinson’s Disease in my daily newsfeed. It is good to see so many scientists are working on this topic, however, it is still doubtful anything will lead to a cure for my husband. The latest note I received talks about a new imaging technique to see the smallest alpha-synuclein clusters with the hope they will be able to detect a pathway for early development of the disease. An exciting development, but they are only able to detect these in a post-mortem brain. This is not really helpful for those living with PD. It reminds me of when my father was diagnosed in the 1980’s and the doctors told him they felt he had Parkinson’s but couldn’t be sure until after he died so they could autopsy his brain for confirmation.

In the meantime, the only proven method of slowing this disease is exercise. Movement of any sort helps, the more the better. Funny since movement is often the thing PD targets first. Thankfully my husband has taken this advice to heart and tries to work out 6 days a week. He likes structured classes and does 2 days in-person plus 3 days on Zoom. We both go to the gym on Saturdays so he can get in some cycling. I think it is working for him because he was diagnosed 15 years ago and is still with me.

I am grateful for all of the research being done, but would like to see more of it directed towards reversing the effects. Until they do, I will keep encouraging him to do his exercises, keep taking him to his classes, keep going to the gym with him. It’s what I can now do to help him slow things down and preserve more of what we have. And with his focus on exercise, I’m also getting healthier. It’s a positive consequence for us both.

Worry, anxiety, anticipation can be as exhausting as physical activities. Find ways to give yourself a break from these stressors.

I look back at my day and wonder why I’m so tired. I don’t recall doing anything that was physically taxing yet I feel like I’ve run a marathon. It was a day when we didn’t have any outside help, could that be the reason for my complete exhaustion? My husband was having a low energy day so I was more on alert than usual, watching him to make sure he was okay, perhaps that has something to do with it all?

Taking a break on those worry filled days would be great, but how? Most importantly I need to recognize what’s  happening. Too often I am so caught up in the moment that I can’t see the bigger picture. Taking a break has to start by simply taking that break. Give myself a moment to think about what’s going on. If my husband is having a tough day, is there anything more I can do to make it better for him? The answer is usually no. Next I need to ask if there’s anything I can do to make the day better for myself. That answer is usually yes and involves either taking a walk, sitting with a good book, or maybe just some deep breathing. Whatever will help me break the cycle of stress and anxiety. Once that’s done I can get on with my day and let him be.

It may sound self-centered, but unless I am willing to actively put my needs first, I am not able to be here fully for my husband. I know that I have said this before, yet sometimes I forget that my mental and physical health is more important to the dynamic of our journey than his. My husband is on this PD trajectory and, while we can’t control it, we can work together to fight it. My worry, anxiety, and anticipation of what is going to go wrong next are stressors that negatively impact our lives and are things I can control. In order to be here alongside him, I must take care of me. It’s not selfish, simply a fact of my life as a Parkinson’s CarePartner.

Aspiration Pneumonia is a leading factor in the death of up to 70% of People with Parkinson’s Disease.

Swallowing is kind of an important skill to have. The ability to get foods and liquids past the windpipe or trachea and into the esophagus is complicated and involves different muscular contractions that do not work as well with PD. This difficulty is known as dysphagia, for Parkinson’s patients it is usually oropharyngeal dysphasia, which refers specifically to the transfer process. That muscular process that my husband uses to get food and water into his body is wonky and causes him to aspirate or allow substances to enter his windpipe. This often leads to aspiration pneumonia which can kill him. I had never heard of this before it was listed as a contributing factor in my father’s death from Parkinson’s.

We are working on a few different things that help but unfortunately my husband still has episodes of aspiration. He is in speech therapy, recognizing that the muscles that help him speak are also the muscles he needs to chew and swallow. Another technique he uses is breathing practice which he does on his own, he calls it his huff and puffs. We ordered a tool called an EMST150(Expiratory Muscle Strength Trainer) that he uses several times a week. Blowing short puffs into the device helps build muscle strength in his throat. My task is to have an awareness of the foods we eat. I work with him to make sure that anything I put in front of him is easy to chew and swallow.

He has undergone 2 swallow tests in the past few years, his most recent showed that he appears to be aspirating small amounts of liquids even without the cough or choking. Our next step may be to thicken his drinks but I don’t think we’re quite there yet. In the meantime, I try to be present whenever he is eating or drinking and he does his part by exercising those muscles.

Find more about the connection between aspiration pneumonia and PD in this study Risk and mortality of aspiration pneumonia in Parkinson’s disease: a nationwide database study.

Be kind to your loved one with Parkinson’s, be even kinder to yourself because this is a shared diagnosis and it will impact your life too.

I woke up this morning and greeted my husband with a cheery “Welcome to Tuesday!” I went through a countdown of the month to determine it was Tuesday the fifth of August. Only once I had finished did my husband speak, “It’s actually Thursday”. We both had a good laugh and I then redid the morning recap and corrected it to Thursday the seventh. What a way to start my day!

That’s really just one way that his diagnosis of Parkinson’s has impacted both of us. I do the morning countdown to remind us because our days are no longer known by their names, it’s what we’re doing relative to his disease. Tuesday and Thursday are Boomerang days because that’s when and where he goes for movement classes. Monday and Wednesday are caregiver days and go by the names of whoever is coming to stay with him. Friday is either known as a support group day or named after his coach on zoom. Our lives seem to revolve around the interventions we have put in place to help us manage this disease.

As his symptoms progress, more adaptations to our lives come into play. It’s important to be mindful of the foods we eat and how they are prepared to make sure he can manage them. We modify our home, age-proofing it if you will. We don’t go out as much anymore and only to familiar locations that are easy to access. Old friends drop away when we can’t participate in the same activities anymore. Much of our time is spent doing what we must to get through the day and little on those things we actually want to do so hobbies for both of us tend to go by the wayside.

Getting back to my original premise, it is essential that I be kind not only to my husband but also to myself. I am living as a CarePartner without a roadmap on this journey uniquely based on his diagnosis and progression. Parkinson’s is changing my life in ways I never really expected so I accept, adapt, modify, endure and give myself a break when I feel angry or frustrated about what we are facing. I can only do so much and there will be moments when I feel it isn’t enough. That’s when I remember to be kind and forgiving to myself while making the best of the situation we have both been put in thanks to this disease.  

The help you want from caregivers as a CarePartner and the help your loved one is willing to accept may be different. Be open to their concerns and negotiate mindfully.

If I could ask for help with my husband based on when I need it most, it would be those first couple of hours every day. I would have someone come in to make his breakfast, help him shower and get dressed. They would help with his shoes and socks and be available if he needed additional support getting ready for his day. And while they were working with my husband, I would be having breakfast, reading the newspaper, writing in my journal, catching up with emails, taking a shower and getting myself ready for the day.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for us. My husband doesn’t want anyone else helping him with his more personal tasks and I can understand that. There are things that the state won’t allow his caregivers to do, like shaving him with a razor or clipping his nails, so I get to do all of those. The closest I get to taking a break with the morning schedule is on days when we do have a caregiver coming and he agrees to switch his shower for an upper body sponge bath when they arrive. It’s a compromise that we worked out so I get a bit of a break and he gets to maintain some of his privacy.

We both need to understand and agree on the role caregivers can and should be playing in our home. It is not easy for either of us to have a stranger coming in to care for him. It’s important that we are able to communicate about these things and that we are able to negotiate when we have a difference. I try to respect his need for independence and ask that he respect my personal limitations. There are always going to be times when I need more or he wants less, we just need to be open to working together and making this difficult component of our journey better for everyone.

It’s necessary to have a support group for connection, advice and understanding, but remember that what works for someone else may not work in your journey with Parkinson’s.

I love the input I get from my support network. They always have stories about medications or adaptive tools that have worked for their loved ones. I can look to them for ideas on different challenges we face and know that they will share good information. It was from this group that I learned about Rock Steady Boxing, bidets, and transfer poles, all interventions that help make our daily activities easier. I even have members reach out to me with questions from time to time and I am flattered that they think of me as a resource. I always remind them that I can only speak from our experiences and that they really should consider anything I say as a suggestion not a solution.

Our journey with PD has been full of trial and error, or maybe more accurately hit and miss. We can’t really know if a pill or adaptive device is going to be helpful until my husband actually gives it a try. It doesn’t seem fair since we are all dealing with the same illness. When someone finds a medication that helps them or provides a healthy bowel routine, it should be transferable to everyone with the diagnosis. We should be able to share our knowledge and everyone within our network would benefit. Unfortunately, the pool has to be much larger than our local group of about 30 folks with the disease for any real similarities to show.

Just as everyone with Parkinson’s looks different, the way they respond to medications and the tools they find useful are going to be different. That’s why it is helpful for me to also maintain a relationship with his medical team. If my husband’s neurologist, physical therapist or PCP has tried this intervention with other patients, they may have a better handle on whether it might be useful for us. Combining the experiences of fellow CarePartners, who know about the daily life challenges of PD, with the knowledge of professionals who have studied this disease hopefully gives us the best chance of finding good interventions. Always remembering that it’s going to be 50-50 whether it will work for my husband.

Analyzing data submitted by current PD patients is giving researchers a clearer picture of the disease and may provide beneficial information for your journey.

I came across a report in Neuroscience News last week that talked about how the non-motor  symptoms of Parkinson’s appear to present differently based on which side of the body is impacted first. The study indicated that people whose motor symptoms started on the left side, like my husband, are more prone to depression and anxiety whereas patients who felt PD first on the right side reported more issues with cognitive decline and potential for dementia. Their work didn’t clarify how to know which of those patients would actually develop any cognitive challenges, it simply looked at historical data and found these relationships. Perhaps that will become clearer as they dig deeper.

There is a saying that when you’ve seen one person with Parkinson’s, you’ve seen one person with Parkinson’s. This report, coming out of the University of Geneva, looked at data collected in 80 studies and over 50 years and found that assertion may not be completely true. There are likenesses among PD patients, even though they may not always be obvious, and those similarities are going to help drive better treatments in the future.

I have always felt that Parkinson’s is a journey without a road map but, just maybe, these new reports will help us get there. The hope is that this information may be useful in creating more personalized treatment plans at an earlier point in the diagnosis. Even though my husband is at more advanced stages with his disease, this information shines a little light on where we have been and may be going and that may let us all know what to watch out for as we continue on our journey.  

This article was found in the Neuroscience News Newsletter dated July 7th, 2025. Click on the link but you may have to scroll down to find it.  

Being a CarePartner will be an educational journey as you learn more about the disease inflicting your loved one, develop new personal skills, and discover just how strong you truly are.

I am so tired of learning new things about Parkinson’s Disease, especially since the one thing I want to know, how to make it go away, isn’t available to me. I don’t want to learn more about fixing things around the house or taking care of my yard. I really feel like I’ve been pushed to my limits, I don’t want to have to be any stronger or more capable. I just want it all to stop and to have my husband back. That’s my whining done for the day, time to flip my perspective.

It’s time for me to figure out how to appreciate my new capabilities. There is some pride in fixing little things around the house myself and figuring ways to get bigger things done too. I find pleasure in the blueberries I am growing in our backyard. I may not enjoy all of my new skills, but they keep us going on a daily basis and there is personal satisfaction in that. Watching the man I married standing strong in spite of his diagnosis, reminds me that I must continue to be strong and capable for him.

I miss the life we had and the future we could have had. I regret conversations never shared, trips planned but never taken, all the opportunities Parkinson’s took away from us. Focusing on the losses gets me nowhere, I need to look for the gains. I feel that I have a solid knowledge base about this disease and about being a caregiver. I have become pretty competent at taking care of minor disasters around our home and property. I am more patient and compassionate than I ever thought I could be before he was diagnosed. Finally, I can be strong enough to continue this journey with him wherever it goes.