lifestyle

Happiness is not a choice, it is the result of other choices you make. Responding positively to all challenges is the choice and it will bring you happiness.

Today I am revisiting words that I wrote a few years ago but that are even more true today than they were then. Only one or two things needed to be changed to address the advancing symptoms of my husband’s illness. It’s amazing how much has changed and yet the basics seem to always stay the same. I continue striving to provide good care for him, try to be mindful of my own needs, and find some happy moments along the way. I hope that these words give you some peace and a path to happy moments today.

I wish being happy were as simple as deciding that it was going to be so. I would wake in the morning with a smile on my face and it would stay there all day. Instead, life comes with different challenges that make me continuously revisit my desire for happiness as I find my way through. There are days when all I want to do is pull the blankets back over my head and hibernate, however I know that isn’t going to change anything. If I can get myself up prepared to face whatever comes with positive energy, perhaps I can find a way to move through this day and share happy moments with my husband. There will be successes, some things will be tougher and there may even be failures, but if I remember that the challenges are temporary and there are still opportunities for better times ahead, we will make it.

So, rather than choose to be happy, I will choose to be positive in all that I do and I sincerely believe that happiness will be the outcome. 

Exercise your body, exercise your mind and exercise your soul every day to keep your entire self flexible and prepared for whatever life brings.

I put my body first because a healthy and relatively pain-free body is essential when living with someone who has a chronic illness. I know how important working out is for my husband, I don’t always remember that it is just as important for me. Exercising, getting the blood flowing throughout my body, is also key to keeping my brain healthy so it can manage everything else. Having a healthy body and brain gives me the energy, and capacity, to provide the support he needs while continuing to pursue my personal interests and self-care.

In addition to physical activity every day, I like to find ways to stretch my mind. I read the local newspaper daily and try to stay informed about current events. I find time for computer games on my tablet, solitaire and sudoku or matching games that give different challenges. I follow several Parkinson’s research websites looking for answers to challenges we face. The older I get, the more often I find myself standing in a room wondering why I am there. Any activities that might help me maintain the brain I have left has to be good, right?

Finally, I take time every day to exercise (or really pamper) my soul. I can only spend so much of my time in the CarePartner role before I find myself getting frustrated and tired. My way of fighting that is to find a space in my day to reconnect to myself. My husband takes naps daily which gives me a chance to focus on my own needs. This is my time to write or play games. My favorite activity is writing because it gives me the opportunity to vent negative feelings in a safe way rather than put them out into the world around us. I journal what’s happening in my day, but once that is done I work on creative short stories and poems. The creative writing allows me to escape into a different reality for a while. That hour or so gives me a break midday to rest, reflect and refresh my soul. He needs the sleep and I need the quiet. It really works well for both of us.