There are many difficult decisions that I have faced as a CarePartner, things like when to ask my husband to stop driving or how to keep him off ladders. Most of those decisions were based in his physical challenges, the tremors or stiffness that make doing certain activities unsafe. It was an easy call to say “no, honey, I just don’t think you should do that anymore” and blame it all on the progressing symptoms of his Parkinson’s Disease. Using his PD as the reason made many of those tough calls easier for both of us.

But now something has come up that has nothing to do with his diagnosis. We have an elderly dog and are coming close to the time when we will need to put him down. Saying goodbye to a loved pet is always difficult and was a decision that we shared in the past. My husband’s physical and emotional states are impacted by his disease so when it comes time to say goodbye to our pup, I will be the one to make that final decision and necessary arrangements. A decision that will be based partly on my personal limitations as I can care for my husband or I can care for the dog, I don’t have the capacity to continue caring for both. And yes, that realization brings a boatload of guilt and feelings of incompetence. Why can’t I do more?

So, this tough choice may not appear to have anything to do with my husband’s diagnosis yet his Parkinson’s Disease does play a part as I try to decide what to do. I know my husband will let me take the lead on this and agree to anything I choose; he understands the added burden caring for the dog brings to our lives. My challenge will be finding a way to accept that I am doing everything I can for both of them and I just can’t do anymore. It is time to move forward with what I know in my mind is the right decision, perhaps in time my heart will understand and follow too.