I did it again. My husband has a video appointment with his doctor this morning and, while helping him get ready for it, I was bossy and grumpy. The doctor’s office texted a link for the meeting to his phone. He asked me to contact them because we don’t want to do the meeting on his phone. I asked him, politely, whether he had checked email on his computer in case they sent it to both devices. We found the link and accompanying instructions in his spam folder. This is where things got a little heated.

I was frustrated by the slowness of his computer and grumped at him as if it were his fault. Then I criticized his system of email, he doesn’t use the on-line server but instead had to download the message to his outlook account. I struggled with how long it all was taking. By the time the email was open, I was itching to take over and do it myself. Thankfully, instead of taking over I took a moment and was able to help get him ready for the appointment without any further crankiness on my part.

I have tools I can use when I start to feel impatient. I know that it is better to be calm, use positive questions and suggestions rather than bossy directions, not let frustration form my actions. I started out okay this morning when I asked about checking his email, I then needed to step back and let him deal with things until he asked for more help. He was doing just fine getting things downloaded, it shouldn’t be an issue for me how he does it. Trying to take control of the situation when he was already engaged made it more difficult for both of us. I need to respect that he has a process that works for him and that he still has the capability to manage it. Ultimately, I need to recognize that he has his ways of doing things and I have mine and that both are okay as long as they get the job done, a concept that applies to so much in our journey with PD.