My husband’s diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease brought some new mantras into our home. We now live with the understanding that “It takes twice as long to get half as much done.” and “The hurried-er I go, the behind-er I get.” I found my mantra the other day on the internet. It read “I had my patience tested. It was negative.” Trying to be patient in the midst of all of the changes we are going through is one of the most challenging aspects of being a CarePartner for me. Let me give you an example.

My husband has always been the one who arrived early to every meeting whereas I would cruise in just on time. Since his diagnosis, things have completely flip-flopped. He now has to depend on me to get him places on time and it sometimes doesn’t work in our PD dominated world. We were getting ready to go out the other day and I was in my usual mode of running just on time, when my husband reminded me of a saying, “the hurried-er I go, the behind-er I get.” As he struggled with his coat, I stood there wondering how I could speed things along. We finally got out the door but were late to everything for the rest of the day. I was put off schedule in that one moment and couldn’t ever get back on track. It finally hit me, I didn’t need for him to hurry, I needed to plan better and find patience. We seriously need twice as long to get ready to go as we did before his symptoms progressed to this point.

My husband can easily spend more time getting ready for a chore than it takes to do the chore itself. Perhaps that is why I find myself, as CarePartner, wanting to step in and do more of those things every day. Instead I stop, take a breath, and remember that the little chores are important because they support his abilities and sense of being. He needs to continue doing things for himself and for us, and I need to be patient so that he can have the time and space to complete them. As he says, “It takes twice as long to do half as much with PD”. I just need to practice patience as I stand back and let him get things done. PD is his challenge, patience is mine. Thank goodness he’s doing a much better job in his battle than me.