We went to an 80^th birthday party today for a friend. It was designed as an open house, come and go as you please. This works best for us since we can never be sure what kind of day my husband is going to have, and the flexibility allows us to participate as much as possible. There were about 20 people there, a comfortable number for the space, and chocolate cake. (Yum!) We got to visit a bit with the birthday boy and his wife and met some new people as well. We had one glitch when my husband needed help getting up from a chair and I wasn’t close by, but he managed. It was a great opportunity to be out and about without any expectations other than socializing.

We don’t go out as much anymore and I sometimes feel that loss. My husband tires easily and I worry too much about what might go wrong which always impacts our social adventures. It takes us more time to get ready these days. Then we go and find that we spend less time out than it took to prepare. I have to admit that there have been times when I declined invites because thinking about the effort can be overwhelming. I need to stop thinking so much and start doing more.

If I approach outings with a positive attitude, we can both enjoy the experience. Yes, it may take more time to get out the door but it is definitely worth the effort. Any interactions we can be part of expand our world and give us a different perspective on life. Isolating at home is debilitating, connecting with others is invigorating. My husband may not engage in conversations as easily as he once did, however he needs the opportunity to try. And, if I can keep an eye on how things are going, I will see where he needs help and signs when he has had enough. We may only be there for 30 minutes, but that is 30 minutes of intensive engagement in a social setting, an informal therapeutic intervention neither of us can get at home.