This is tough and can be a potential disaster for you especially if you choose to do things differently. My approach to tasks is to get them done in the quickest and most efficient manner, my husband is much more driven by perfection. I am learning not to try to do things when he is watching because he likes to tell me the “correct” way to do them. He is learning that once he turns something over to me, he needs to back off or he is going to get grumped at. These are simple facts that we are both learning to accept in our changing roles.

We are in the process of hiring a contractor to redo our drive and entryway. I am the one who has to make the contacts and will probably be tasked with supervision of the work as it progresses. Our first disagreement came when I scheduled for a contractor to come and give me an estimate during my husband’s exercise class. He wanted to be there even though being there was simply standing by watching someone take measurements. I convinced him to skip this one because his exercise class is more important and scheduled the next one at a time when he could be with us. Sometimes it’s just not worth the battle.

I have no intention of choosing a contractor or accepting an estimate without first discussing it with my husband. The final decision, however, is going to be mine. While I know how important it is for him to know that I respect his input, it is equally important for me to know that he trusts my judgement. We will have many more opportunities where I will need to take the lead and he will have to let me and it will be with decisions that are a great deal more important than who pours our concrete. We both need to believe that I am capable of making those choices when they come up and be able to trust that I will make them well.