We recently started having someone come in to help with my husband’s care one afternoon a week. It wasn’t that there were things I couldn’t do for him because I do those things all the other days, it was more that I needed a break from doing them. I needed a few hours when I wasn’t on duty so that I could take care of things that had nothing to do with his diagnosis of PD. I needed someone else to be the ear listening for his call for help, someone else to get him up and moving, someone else to make him a snack or keep him company. I needed some “me” time.

Last week during our designated care time, I was in my office area viewing a webinar when I heard a knock on the door. It was our helper asking about leaving early, she said my husband had told her to check with me but that he was okay with her going since she had all of her work done. I felt like I had been set up so I said yes, especially since it was only about 30 minutes. After she left, I began composing this blog in my mind.   

My husband has an expectation that when she is here, she needs to stay busy. He doesn’t quite get that it’s okay if it appears she’s just sitting with him because then it doesn’t have to be me. There is someone available to provide for his needs and keep him safe. I can’t come up with enough things for her to do to fill 4 hours, but I can definitely find things for me to do if I have 4 hours of free time. How can I help him understand that concept without hurting his feelings? How can I make him see my need for a few hours of uninterrupted “me” time, is it too much to ask for?