I find that getting rid of as many of the frustrations around helps me be less likely to take things out on my husband. His diagnosis is disturbing enough for both of us and I know that he doesn’t intentionally do things to get me worked up, it just happens. A great example happened this morning. I was fighting with our printer when my husband mumbled something to me in an effort to help. Already frustrated, I actually told him not to speak if he couldn’t speak clearly. I can’t believe I let those words come out of my mouth. I was upset with the printer and struck out inappropriately at him. I apologized, but the words were already out there.

I hate the changes PD has made to our lives but that doesn’t give me the right to punish my husband for them. He is fighting them constantly and feels them so much more than I ever will. Normally when I get frustrated with something he is trying to do, I remember it’s okay to be angry at the disease but not at my husband, and stop myself before I say anything. When there is something else already bothering me, I am not always able to filter through it and block the misplaced messages.

So, in an attempt to control my words, I work to control my environment. The printer mentioned above is several years old and breaks regularly, it has to go. Just like the warped skillet that I had for years before admitting cooking with it was driving me crazy and tossed it. There was the third toilet in our house that gurgled all the time until I finally shut off the water. The calmer I make our home, the less likely I am to strike out at my husband for things that are beyond his control. We have enough reasons to be frustrated on this journey with PD, we don’t need anything else around that might add to them.