I have a caregiver coming in to be with my husband twice a week for 4 hours at a time. At first I wondered how I would fill those hours but now I am trying to figure out how to get more. There are so many things I would like to do and instead find myself tied up doing those things I have to do. I spend that precious time shopping for groceries, maintaining the house or attending my own medical/dental appointments. Where is all the time I was supposed to have for rest and relaxation?

The problem seems to be that I leave everything that needs to be done for that window of time when we have a caregiver. My to-do list becomes unrealistic and I have finally realized that this is not the best plan. It’s time to rethink the concept that my husband needs constant supervision in case of a fall. He is able to be on his own and be safe. I can work in the garage or yard as long as I check in from time to time. I can even run to the store as long as I check in with him before I leave. I shouldn’t try to do all the chores only when we have help because it is okay for me to let him take care of himself sometimes.

If I can get beyond my overprotectiveness, life will be less stressful for both of us and more productive for me. It’s time to explore the limits I have put in place for myself and see if they can’t loosen up. Then perhaps time I set aside to do things for me can become more enjoyable as well.