A recent mindfulness session turned from the regular weekly practice to a presentation about a Buddhist Parable known as “The Two Arrows”. The basic premise is that life will bring challenges and they are like an arrow being fired at me. My mind overreacts in unhelpful ways and causes a second arrow to be fired. That second arrow comes from negative emotions and is something I do to myself. As an example, if my husband being diagnosed with Parkinson’s was the first arrow, my constant questioning of ‘why us’ or ‘why me’ is the second arrow making the situation worse. This is a very simplistic definition and I would encourage you to do your own research for more complete information.

What I learned during the session was that when challenges occur I have choices. I can accept the challenge and move forward, or choose to question it which increases stress levels and gets me stuck in the whirling feelings in my head. Just because my husband had a fall today doesn’t mean he will be in a wheelchair tomorrow. Just because I burned our dinner tonight doesn’t mean I can’t cook. Those second arrows, or negative thoughts, turn a difficult situation into an overwhelming and hopeless one. I must find ways to stop firing them at myself.

Again, I am not a Buddhist and can only speak to my understanding of this parable. What I take from this message is the reminder to stay in the moment, meet whatever happens with the knowledge that I am enough and I can face whatever it is. One particular bad situation doesn’t tell our whole story. When I ignore my negative self-talk, I can deflect that second arrow before it strikes.