health

Sleep deprivation is a common challenge for CarePartners.

I know I didn’t need to say it, but getting a full night’s sleep is one of the biggest challenges I face in caring for my husband. It takes me longer to go to sleep because I can’t let go of the worries of the day. My sleep is disturbed because I am still aware of any noises or movements he makes at night. We get up to take meds or use the bathroom and then my brain won’t let me go back to sleep. The reality is that I sleep less and the sleep I get is less restful which impacts my health overall.

What can I do? GREAT question and there are lots of answers available but do any of them really work? AARP shares 4 tips and their resources for caregivers that I can try. Their suggestions include creating a restful space for yourself to sleep which may be in another room, I don’t want to leave my marital bed to get a good night’s sleep. They suggest setting aside a time each day for worries, but then how do you keep them from creeping back in the middle of the night? I already have a bedtime ritual that is supposed to promote sleep and it works on occasion. Their final idea is to use relaxation techniques to help me transition into a more peaceful state of mind, something that has never helped.

It seems like I am being negative in this blog and that isn’t my intention, I’m just being realistic. One thing that has helped me is talking with fellow CarePartners and knowing I’m not alone in this challenge. Some of them have found success with melatonin supplements, others use cbd drops. I have spoken with my Primary care doctor because she needs to know that I am facing this challenge and has been working to help me eliminate any physical reasons that might be causing insomnia.

I have decided to look at those middle of the night awakenings as opportunities to get up and have some quiet time for myself. A piece of toast and some warm milk, a good book and my cat. I know I’ll pay for it tomorrow, but hopefully there’ll be time for a nap. If not, there’s always tomorrow night and maybe I’ll actually be able to sleep it through.

For more on sleep and caregivers, check out this NIH article “It’s Been a Hard Day’s Night”, Sleep Problems in Caregivers for Older Adults. The AARP article I reference can be found at Tips for Better Sleep While Caregiving.

Exercise your body, exercise your mind and exercise your soul every day to keep your entire self flexible and prepared for whatever life brings.

I put my body first because a healthy and relatively pain-free body is essential when living with someone who has a chronic illness. I know how important working out is for my husband, I don’t always remember that it is just as important for me. Exercising, getting the blood flowing throughout my body, is also key to keeping my brain healthy so it can manage everything else. Having a healthy body and brain gives me the energy, and capacity, to provide the support he needs while continuing to pursue my personal interests and self-care.

In addition to physical activity every day, I like to find ways to stretch my mind. I read the local newspaper daily and try to stay informed about current events. I find time for computer games on my tablet, solitaire and sudoku or matching games that give different challenges. I follow several Parkinson’s research websites looking for answers to challenges we face. The older I get, the more often I find myself standing in a room wondering why I am there. Any activities that might help me maintain the brain I have left has to be good, right?

Finally, I take time every day to exercise (or really pamper) my soul. I can only spend so much of my time in the CarePartner role before I find myself getting frustrated and tired. My way of fighting that is to find a space in my day to reconnect to myself. My husband takes naps daily which gives me a chance to focus on my own needs. This is my time to write or play games. My favorite activity is writing because it gives me the opportunity to vent negative feelings in a safe way rather than put them out into the world around us. I journal what’s happening in my day, but once that is done I work on creative short stories and poems. The creative writing allows me to escape into a different reality for a while. That hour or so gives me a break midday to rest, reflect and refresh my soul. He needs the sleep and I need the quiet. It really works well for both of us.