I had convinced myself that my husband couldn’t be safe on his own. If I had to leave him at home alone, I worried every moment I was away that something was going to happen and I’d come back to find him on the floor or paramedics at our door. At the same time, I was feeling frustrated by being tied to the house when I have things that I need or want to do because I was so certain he needed this constant supervision.

It came to a head recently when he told me straight up that he can be okay on his own. In his opinion, I was underestimating his ability to care for himself. We talked about what it might look like for me to go out for an hour or two and gave it a try this past week. I scheduled a couple of outings for myself at times when he would normally be resting and both went really well. Now I feel like a fool because I have been so protective and so careful that I let his diagnosis completely take over my life too.

This doesn’t mean that I am going to be leaving him for extended periods or that we are going to cancel our in-home care. It does means that with mindful scheduling and the understanding it might need to change, I can get out and do some of the things I have been putting off. I can have a life of my own without taking away from caring for my husband and our home. As a matter of fact, it may be good for both of us to have a break from my constant presence (and nagging) to refresh our relationship. On days when he feels he can be safe and is able to manage, I think getting away may be a good addition to my CarePartner routine.

Please note- my situation is not yours and I would never suggest you try what works for me because it may not be safe for you and your loved one. Always make choices based on what is best and safest in your home.