I came across a saying I had never heard before and it resonated with me. The speaker referred to this as the 3 H’s question, do you want to be hugged, heard, or helped? I did some work on-line to see if I could find the origin of this concept and it appears to come from therapy for relationships and communication. I wasn’t able to take it any deeper than that, but it is such a great thought I wanted to share it here.

Defining what I need in a particular moment is not always easy. Sometimes it is practical, I need someone taller to help me reach a top shelf. Other times it is not so clear and I need to talk it out. Then there are times when I’m feeling overwhelmed and just need someone to take anything off my plate and do it for me. One suggestion I come across often is to create a list of practical needs so when someone offers help I have answers for them. I started a list once but found it difficult to keep up with as things change on a daily basis.

Getting back to the 3 H’s, I really like this simple concept. In the moment of need, I can stop and ask myself if I need to be hugged, heard or helped. Once I figure that out, I can tell others whether I need them to listen for a while, help me with a task or just give me a big hug. Or, more probably, I need all three. I am a Parkinson’s CarePartner after all.